


Honey, I... Love You?

by kirschhhstein



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, warning for language maybe cause i think Eren drops an f-bomb or two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:19:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3791248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschhhstein/pseuds/kirschhhstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unreliable narrative of Jean Kirschstein's collective adventures in drama class, including his pitiful attempts at wooing his popular classmate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honey, I... Love You?

**Author's Note:**

> aka the somewhat tidied up version of my jearmin drama class au from [tumblr](http://kavinskkky.tumblr.com/tagged/drama-au)
> 
> ps may also include new scenes cause i'm a loser that can't let go

 It’s not that Jean hates drama class, it was just that -

No, Jean hates drama class.

It wasn’t like he had much of a choice - forced to choose between music, drama and art electives, he figured at the time drama would be more of a skive.  But Jean had completely misjudged the explosive enthusiasm of drama students.

The writing parts of the course aren’t so bad, it’s kind of like English and Jean’s above average without trying there.  Even the acting is alright, because he can usually get away with monotone lines and half-hearted gestures because the others expect nothing less from him and didn’t seem to care much for his input or effort anyway.

The warm-up exercises could easily be described as hell though.  Whether they’re freestyle dance sessions, improv, or  _‘Bang’_  (a game Jean had grown to particularly loathe), Jean can barely get through them without wanting to punch someone or be knocked unconscious himself.

Though he would definitely state that the worst one of all was ‘Honey, I Love You’.  

_There’s a special place in hell for the person that came up with this game,_  he thinks as he watches Eren Jaeger sidle up to one of his classmates and pull loose his tie.

“Honey,”  He croons, and Armin Arlert bites his lip trying not to smile, because of course Eren would target his best friend for this game.  The two of them in this class were somewhat of a comedy duo to the others, pairing up for every exercise and never failing to amuse the rest of them with their antics.

“I love you.”  Eren continues, opening his shirt buttons as he falls to his knees, puffing his chest out as far as it can go and Armin can’t even make it past “I -” without bursting into giggles along with the rest of the class.  They all laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world, as if the same scene didn’t happened  _every time they played this game._

And this was exactly what Jean couldn’t stand - the constant childish hilarity, the drama family bond everyone else had formed instantly, and that nobody bothered to try with him anymore.  Only a few brave souls near the beginning of the year had attempted to ‘charm’ Jean during this game only to be met with a stony stare and the standard “I love you too, but I just can’t smile” response muttered through gritted teeth.

He supposes it’s his own fault, deliberately excluding himself from the fun is hardly going to make them want to try harder with him.  But whatever, it’s only two classes a week he has to tolerate these awkward moments and bitter feelings.  Not even two full hours out of one hundred and sixty-eight hours a week.  And this game usually lasts five minutes at most.

He holds back an impatient sigh as Armin steps into the middle of the circle of students, pacing around and  _‘Hm’-_ ing out loud for their amusement.  Having lost the game by laughing at Eren, it’s his turn to make another lose their composure.

Bright eyes pass over Jean to another, before reconsidering and sliding back to Jean.  Armin flashes him a wicked grin.

Jean tenses up, not expecting  _Armin_  of all people to approach him like this.  Then again, his universally loved classmate had surprised him during their first drama lesson together.  Instead of keeping his head down and studiously working away like he tends to do in the other classes they share - Armin and his best friend had linked arms and serenaded their classmates with a lively rendition of  _Razzle Dazzle_  to everyone's absolute delight.  Well, not quite everyone.

Though of course Jean’s not worried about breaking the rules by laughing, not at all - he’s just not sure about that mischievous twinkle in Armin’s eye.

The fair-haired boy slinks to Jean’s side, glancing up at him with a shy smile and  _whoa, he has really long eyelashes_ Jean realises.  Armin’s head tilts to the side, long silken hair falling over one shoulder and  _oh my god oh my god he’s too close._

Jean starts as he feels something soft touch his wrist and he realises it’s Armin’s fingertips at the same time he notices how pretty Armin smells and looks and why is his face so close and is that his breath on Jean’s neck making him shiver like that oh god he’s going to have a stroke  _what is happening -_

“I love you, honey.”  Armin whispers, there are quiet giggles from somewhere to their left as Jean’s struck dumb.  Wide-eyed and red-faced, he just stares down at the other boy with his mouth agape.

“Honey?”  Armin prompts him, little smile still in place now accompanied by dark fluttering eyelashes.

Eren cackles somewhere from across the room.

Then Jean remembers that he has to say something too though he can’t quite remember why.  A tiny voice at the back of his head reminds him not to laugh, though he’s not sure why he would anyway.  There’s nothing remotely funny about this situation at all, and he has no idea exactly what he’s feeling right now except -

“I love you too.”  He replies faintly.

Armin blinks and says nothing.  Jean’s barely aware of the loud sniggering coming from every direction.

“Um, and?”  Eren calls out.

“And?”  Jean repeats dreamily because Armin is still so close that he can see that his eyes are entirely blue and the realisation is almost overwhelming.  In fact he thinks he might be swaying on the spot and the only thing keeping him from falling is the sensation of Armin’s skin brushing against own.

“You have to say the whole thing, honey.  Otherwise I can’t move on.”  Armin grins and bites his lip mischieviously.  “Won’t you smile, honey?”

This time it’s Jean who blinks in confusion because  _huh?_    _What whole thing?_   He thought confessing their love for one another would be enough, or was Armin expecting -

_“Oh my god - but I just can’t smile!”_   Jean blurts out loudly, feeling himself grow even hotter in embarrassment as his classmates burst into raucous laughter.

_Oh god.  Did I just.  Shit.  Oh my god._

He may not have reacted as he was expected too, but he didn’t lose the game by laughing either.  In fact, laughing is the last thing he feels like doing.  Though Jean wonders if giving in to a smile would’ve been easier to explain than whatever the hell experience he just had there.

He steps back, feeling more than a little lightheaded as Armin pouts and moves back to the centre of the circle.  As he figures out his next victim, Eren flashes Jean a smug look and Jean has to look away.

He spends the rest of the class staying as far away from Armin as possible and glancing at him every chance he gets.  But when Armin glances up during a snarky monologue, he catches Jean’s eye and smiles like he’s trying not to laugh.  Jean just allows his face to burst into flames and buries his nose in his script, his heart thumping wildly because yeah, he  _definitely_  hates drama class.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

It’s one of those days when Jean wonders why he didn’t take art elective. He’s even sort of good at drawing things, even if he hasn’t picked up his sketchpad in years, and if 'things' includes girls and flowers. It makes him consider whether he’s actually the visually artistic reincarnation of an embarrassingly corny Romantic poet.

_That comparison was lame even for me,_ Jean thinks as he watches two of his classmates roll around the floor.

Eren and Armin have been at it since their apparently overworked teacher asked the class to team up and experiment with stage fighting before nodding off in their chair. The inseparable duo were only happy to oblige, whereas Jean took the opportunity to sit in the corner and judge the rest of them without lifting a finger.

It takes all of two seconds for him to forget the others and focus on the class favourites that have seemingly taken the ‘fighting’ part of stage fighting a bit too literally.

They move quick from throwing wide punches to the air to full on wrestling with a lot more body contact and laughing than Jean thinks is appropriate. His carefully neutral expression twists into a frown when Eren pushes Armin down and lies flat on top of him, squashing his best friend with his weight alone. There’s little height difference between the two but the dark-haired boy’s mass is still noticeably more than the fairer’s and this bothers Jean more than he cares to admit.

_You're squashing him._ Jean wants to scold him, but he keeps his mouth clamped shut.  Like always.  Though it's gotten harder to control his mouth since his embarrassing outburst a month back.

_'I love you, honey."_

_"I love you too."_

It takes him a moment to swallow his mortification at the memory and return his attention to his rowdy classmates.

Eren snorts out a laugh as Armin wriggles uselessly beneath him, spitting out colourful curses in a still sweet voice that pleasantly grazes Jean’s ears. He tries not to listen, but the other boy’s angry cat noises are too distracting to ignore.

Because that’s what Armin has become ever since the ‘honey’ incident – a distraction that Jean is incredibly displeased discover. Especially when said lovely distraction is pinned under somebody else.

Armin doesn’t seem deterred in the slightest though, when he catches Jean’s eye before he can look away and calls out to him.

“Enjoying the show?”

“Not particularly.” Jean replies wryly, and truthfully, drawing’s Eren’s attention who jumps up and beckons with a grin.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Jean sniffs and Eren’s grin grows wider.

“Teacher’s orders, Jean. You should engage with your classmates more.”

Jean snorts, and it’s only when Armin smiles with a “Do you think you can’t take him?” that he reluctantly gets off his bum and moves towards them.

He motions towards Eren, rubbing a hand on the side of his neck and cracking it for dramatic effect. Not to show off, of course not. But Eren shakes his head and gestures at Armin who’s still lying on the floor, propped up on his elbows as if to watch an entertaining show.

“Oh, me?” He blinks, getting to his feet and rolling up his sleeves. “Okay.”

Jean looks to him - slight and dishevelled and wonderful - and shakes his head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“He’s -” Jean starts then stops, carefully looking away from the two of them.

_He’s so little._ He wants to say.  _He’s small and pretty and I don’t think I can handle being so physically close to him without spontaneously combusting._

_But I can’t say that._

“He’s barely able to hold out against you, never mind me and I’m bigger.” Jean says much colder than he intends, and pretends not to hear Armin’s soft “Hey!”

“Somehow I’ll doubt you’ll do as well as me.” Eren snickers, which makes Jean spare a thought to the terrifying idea that Eren knows something he doesn’t. “Just give it a go, alright?”

He slaps Jean’s shoulder and steps away to sit on the ground, settling in a comfortable lounging position to watch the scene.

Jean internally groans and turns to face Armin who’s still huffing – flushed cheeks puffed out and lips pouted prettily in annoyance. It’s almost too much for Jean who nearly has to run out the classroom for the sake of his sanity.

“So.” Armin addresses Eren but his bright eyes don’t leave Jean. “What’s my motivation for kicking his arse?”

“He said you hit like a girl.”

“Wha -?”

“That’s sexist, Jean.” Armin mutters, his eyes narrowing as he rolls his shoulders back in preparation. “Why would you say something so derogatory and stupid and  _wrong -”_

“I would never -” Jean starts off hastily, but cuts himself off out of shock when Armin launches at him.

Staggering backwards, Jean throws up an arm to defend himself. He successfully dodges blow after blow (as he's meant to), but he’s more than bewildered at Armin’s sudden ferocity and memory loss of the word  _pretend._

“Jeez, would –  _would you_   _calm down_  -”

“Yeah, Armin’s not so good with sarcasm.” Eren calls lazily from his spot, cracking a smile as Armin stubbornly tries to corner Jean against the wall.

“Oof -” Jean sputters as his back hits the stage lighting diagram display on the wall behind him, and impulsively takes Armin by the shoulders. “Oi, I didn’t actually say that you know. I wouldn’t -”

He’s unable to suppress the loud squeak he utters when Armin jabs him between his ribs. Then, riled up by Eren’s hysterical laughter, he instinctively pushes Armin to the ground with a grunt and grabs his flailing arms to pin them down.

Breathing hard, he doesn’t move until Armin stills to glare up at him. His hair’s in a tangle, splayed out beneath him and his face is flushed red from the effort of struggling. Jean can feel Armin’s pulse pounding in his warm wrists against his palms and it’s… wow, it’s a little…  _god, he looks kind of…_ Jean claps a hand to his mouth, fearfully aware that he was about to say something he’d deeply regret again.

Armin’s hard gaze softens, and he looks up at Jean in concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

_He’s so beautiful, oh god oh god why does this keep happening -_

“Um, mmhm.” Jean mumbles into his hand, mentally screaming at himself to look away, to get up and off of Armin already because what kind of idiot just sits on top of another guy and stares at him silently for minutes on end.

_T_   _his one, apparently._

Jean’s too deep in his internal panic to really register the surprise when Armin, one hand now free, throws a leg over his hip and flips their positions. He finds himself flat on his back, held tight by Armin’s thighs squeezing his waist and his wrists restrained next to his shoulders.

He realises he’s not breathing when Armin leans down, his face way  _way_ too close again, and his soft hair falling down to tickle his cheeks.

“Gotcha.” Armin mutters.  _“Honey.”_

“Guh.. uhuh.” Jean swallows, vaguely wondering how long Eren’s going to roll around gasping and clutching his sides and not helping him. Armin only smiles triumphantly before letting out a happy laugh himself.

And for the first time in years Jean itches for a sketchpad and pencil to draw the sight before him, suddenly grateful that he hadn’t chosen art elective after all.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

"Jeez, Jean do you even know what intonation means?"

No, he doesn't.

"And _project,_ Jean - you're not projecting your voice!"

Jean doesn't really know what that means either.  He guesses that much is obvious by the way Armin sighs and plants his hands on his hips.

_Why is he even here?_  He can imagine Armin thinking.  He often catches himself wondering the same thing.

"It's not like I'm asking the impossible."  Armin says, hoisting himself up onto the stage beside Jean.  He has to restrain himself from reaching out a hand to help him - if only because he has to hide his selfish want to clasp that warmth in his palm again.

"You are though."  Jean mutters, and Armin fixes a scowl at him.

"I've heard you talk.  I know you're capable of speaking like a human being, not a low-battery automaton."

Jean winces at Armin's reproving tone, oddly reminded of his mother.  He's regretting bothering to come to school today already.  It's near the end of term, and he's finished the coursework for all of his subjects already.  So really, there was no need for him to bother turning up for an elective class - for which he isn't even graded.  All they've been doing for the past month is selecting and performing any scene from any kind of literary, film or theatre piece - 'for fun'.  And Jean had known that he would get no enjoyment out of these kind of pointless activities at all.

But somehow he convinced himself he still ought to make an appearance for... no particular reason.

Jean looks his glaring classmate up and down, arms crossed and his lips pursed, and suppresses a smile.

"Sorry."  He manages.  "I'll, uh... try harder."

"You'd better."  Armin tells him.  "Otherwise I'll make you sing as well."

A laugh slips out of him before Jean realises that Armin is utterly serious.  The colour drains from his face a little.  But Armin slips back off the stage and gestures for him to go again.  So Jean repeats his line, with more enthusiasm but not enough to seem like he's giving it any real effort.

Armin tells him grudgingly that it's a little better but thinks he can improve a lot more.  So they go through the lines again and again - enough to tire Jean out and for him to admit that maybe he'd rather sing after all.

"Do you think you can sing better than you can speak?"  Armin asks him, leaning his elbows on the edge of the stage to rest his chin on his hands.  He looks up at Jean with small smile, just sly enough to let Jean know that he's being teased.

So he lifts his head and shrugs back his shoulders, willing to play along for now.  "I'll have you know that I have a decent voice actually."

"I know."  Armin says, his smile growing a little wider.  "After all, I did come to all of your playtime concerts in primary school."

_Ah.  Bugger._

Jean lets his shoulders drop and rubs a hand over his face sheepishly, all the embarrassing memories flooding back at once.  "Ugh.  I forgot about those."

"I certainly didn't.  The duets you had with Connie were legendary."  Armin bites his lip as he grins and Jean has to look away before he does something stupid.  "I distinctly remember something about the two of you forming a band -"

"Let's not."

"No, let's - and that you'd tour with Bon Jovi and all your groupies -"

"Please stop."

"No - and you'd eat as many raspberry bonbons as you'd like since your mummy wouldn't be allowed on tour to stop you."  Armin finishes with a laugh, tilting his head to smile up at Jean who can't help but laugh along with him.

"Argh!  Alright, alright - I'll say the lines properly, okay?  Just stop torturing me."

"Hm, good."  Armin winks and Jean's heart jumps a little.  "After all - we've only got a week or so left together and I want this to be perfect."

"W-We - what?"

Armin, who'd been wandering away from the stage, looks over his shoulder at Jean with a questioning expression.

"I said I want this to be perfect."  He repeats slowly.  "Even if it is an ungraded exercise."

Oh, well.  Jean supposes he'd expect no less from a student like Armin.  It isn't those words that bother him though.  It's the ones before, about the little time they have left  _together._

_He probably means the class as a whole._ Jean tells himself.   _Don't get excited when it's nearly over anyway._

He swallows his disappointment at the thought, the regret cutting him much deeper than he thought it would've, and starts the scene from the beginning.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

It’s not often that Jean volunteers himself for tasks in class.  Well, in actuality he doesn’t think he’s offered to take part in an exercise since he was nine years old.  But that was seven years ago, this is drama class and certainly the last place he would ever volunteer for anything. Which is why he might be the most shocked of all when their teacher asks for someone to provide an example of a dramatic monologue, and the words “I’ll do it” escape his mouth before he can take them back.

He tries to kid himself he doesn’t know why he’s offered when he stiffly climbs his way onto the cleared stage, his classmates bunched in a large group in front of him and the dark stage curtains behind.  But it’s pointless to pretend when he’s completely and embarrassingly aware of the reason behind his sudden venture in dramatic theatre.  And he’s trying hard not to glance at that reason just now.

After a year of tolerating two hellish classes of drama elective per week, Jean had looked at his subject options sheet for his fifth year, felt his eye drawn to the  _ **HIGHER DRAMA**_ course option and thought _hell no._ Then he promptly circled it and handed it in before he could realise the stupidity of his actions.

He knows nothing about drama; he has no interest in it.  He barely participated during the elective classes, which were essentially supposed to be time-filler fun, and now he’s signed himself up for an entire course which he’ll have to eventually sit examinations for.

And apparently he’s going to start off the year with a voluntary performance in front of the entire class.  To randomly pull a suitable monologue out of his ass in front of the serious drama kids he’ll be working with at least five hours a week for the rest of the year.  To hopefully not make a fool of himself in front of the reason he’s in this room to begin with,

Armin hasn’t stopped looking at him since he spoke up to volunteer.  There’s a mix of confusion and intrigue in his bright eyes, though that’s the way he’s been looking at Jean since he discovered they would be in drama class together for another year.

Jean hasn’t seen him all summer, and he’s spent almost the entire first week back secretly admiring Armin’s longer hair kissed lighter by the summer sun, and quietly despairing that they’ve barely exchanged more than a few sentences since the school year started.  After months of Armin teasing him during elective class and Jean predictably reacting like the flustered fool he wishes he wasn’t, Jean’s close to devastated that they seem to be back to the strangers they were at the beginning of last year.  All he wants to do is yell  _‘You’re what I’m here for!  Look at me!  Look at me being a complete idiot for you!’_

Which brings Jean to his current dilemma.  It’s all very well that he now has Armin’s (and the entirely of the class’s) attention, but he really hasn’t thought this through.  He doesn’t even have a monologue in mind.  Does he even  know any well enough to perform all the way through?

Now alone onstage, he stares out at the muttering audience and gives a loud gulp.  He’s not sure if he’s grateful or not when Eren, seated at the front next to Armin of course, turns around and shushes them all, but it buys him a few more seconds to think of something.

But then he catches Armin’s curious eye and that’s it - he’s stuck. Because what if Armin thinks he’s not taking this seriously?  Is that why they’ve hardly spoken since they returned to school?  He’s disappointed in Jean’s choice?

He knows that some of the other students believe he’s here to get out of taking a 'proper’ subject to study – that’s it’s a lazy excuse to not do any work, just like he did last year.

But that’s not the case this time, he tells himself.   _I’m here because I followed my crush here.  I just want to be closer to him._

He realises that’s not much better than his previous reason and feels his face flush at the thought.

“Whenever you’re ready, Jean.”  Their teacher calls out, and Jean nods and swallows.  He’s anxious that it’s so quiet in the hall now, and that he can’t tell what any of his classmates are thinking.  That he can’t tell what  _Armin’s_ thinking.

“Sometime today would be nice though.”  Eren calls out and Jean glares at him.  Eren only winks, forms pistol shapes with his hands and pretend to fire them at Jean who recognises it as his  _'good luck’_ gesture.

Struck by an idea, Jean spares a moment to wonder if it’s appropriate before remembering that pushing the boundaries is a  _good_ thing in theatre, and moves downstage to sit.  He dangles his legs over the edge, hunching over as he leans his elbows on his thighs and clasps his hands together.  He hangs his head for a few moments, waiting until it goes utterly silent before exhaling and tilting his head up to gaze out at his audience.

“ _There’s this passage I got memorised…”_ He starts, deepening his voice and praying his Californian accent doesn’t sound as stupid as he thinks it does.   _“Ezekiel 25:17.  'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides…'”_

Jean continues speaking, and there’s not another voice to be heard throughout the entire hall.  He quickly discovers himself settling into character, his initial self-consciousness melting away as he gestures and varies his intonation as he feels is right.  And still no one says a word. Perhaps they’re all too stunned that he’s taking actually this seriously to speak.

He finishes in a quiet voice, clenching his fists and narrowing his eyes in an attempt to convey the underlying threat in his words.  The hall falls into silence following his final sentence, and he waits a few moments before clearing his throat and announcing that that’s all there is.

“Jean, you freaking nerd!  That’s from Pulp Fiction!”  Eren calls out with a startled laugh but he starts clapping which in turn causes the rest of the class to applaud, accompanied with laughs and pleasantly surprised murmurs.

“Not quite what I meant by a dramatic monologue, but I’m impressed nonetheless.” Their teacher says, nodding and smiling while the others collectively murmur in agreement.

Jean coughs in embarrassment, feeling his face grow warm as he clumsily hops off the stage and slumps into the closest seat – the empty one on Armin’s left.

He dares glance at him for the first time since before his speech, and goes red from head to toe at the awestruck look on Armin’s face.

“Ah, haha… Not too bad for a drama newbie, right?”  Jean laughs nervously, desperately trying to ignore the way his heart stutters when Armin gazes at him with wide shining eyes.

“That was kind of spooky.”  He says in a hushed voice, not paying any attention to Eren who props his chin on Armin’s head and nods thoughtfully.  “You were so into it, I actually got kind of nervous.”

“Didn’t think you’d be capable of actually putting any effort into this kind of thing.” Eren adds, and Armin nods – the two of them glancing up and down at each other as though to confirm their mutual thoughts.

“Well, it was either Jules Winnfield or King Theoden.”  Jean half-shrugs, trying not to feel too smug that he actually managed to impress his classmates for once.

“I  _love_ Lord of the Rings.”  Both Armin and Eren exclaim, and Jean’s pleased by the excited gleam in Armin’s eye – a little unsettled by the mischievous one in Eren’s.

“My turn.”  He grins, leaping to his feet so he’s standing atop his chair and beating his chest for the class’s attention.  _“Arise!  Arise Riders of Theoden!”_

“Eren…” Their teachers sighs, but they’ve already lost as the students laugh and wait for Eren to continue.

“ _Spears shall be shaken!  Shields shall be splintered!”_  Eren pumps his fist in the air, and Jean catches Armin grinning at him in amusement.

Not to be outdone, Jean grits his teeth as he stands tall and joins in Eren’s chant.  Eren flashes him a grin in challenge and raises his voice.  Jean retaliates by gesturing more wildly, addressing the entirely of the class with as fierce a gaze as he can muster.

He perfectly aware of Armin giggling below them, as both he and Eren roar  _“Death!”_ over and over, and the class bellows it back.  Then Eren reaches over to Jean to shove him lightly, still yelling.  Jean wobbles and almost topples over completely, but he can’t help it – he laughs and pushes Eren back until the teacher finally tells them it’s enough now and they settle.

Feeling hot in the face and pleasantly warm in his chest, Jean drops back in his seat panting.  He’s still grinning to himself because he can’t believe it –  _he’s actually having fun_. He’s enjoyinghimself in  _drama._

He throws Armin a lazy smile before he can think better of it, and knows being here will be worth it by the fond  _'you’re both idiots’_ look Armin gives him.  It’s sweet and perfect and everything Jean just spent the past summer dreaming about.

He’s almost overwhelmed when the rest of the lesson is spent not daring to move as he sits on the floor with Armin’s legs thrown casually across his lap and Eren’s voice constantly nattering in his ear.  A few of their classmates approach them to compliment their performances, mostly impressed by Jean’s solo display and commenting on his surprising newfound interest in theatre.

“I guess something caught his eye in elective last year.”  Eren leans back on his hands with an innocent look on his face.

Jean chooses not to answer any of them, allowing himself to be distracted by the way Armin hums tunelessly as he holds the worksheet high in the air to study it.  He must feel Jean’s gaze though, as he lifts his head to look at him questioningly.

“What is it?”  He smiles, and Jean would swear he can actually feel the soft flutter of little wings in his stomach.  The sensation is pleasant, and his head is already buzzing from the sheer glee he’s been basking in for the entire afternoon, so he feels brave enough to tell Armin that he’s just glad he decided to take drama after all.

Armin’s smile wavers, and there’s a moment of silence before he mumbles a “Ah… me too.”  before he brings his worksheet close to his face, but not quick enough that Jean doesn’t catch the beginnings of a blush on his cheeks.

A few weeks later, Eren approaches Jean with a request to be in his play for their first assessment.  He tells him with a knowing grin that he’ll be playing a character across from Armin, and Jean agrees instantly.  He’ll come to his senses and panic later – for now he’s just marvelling at Armin’s excited  _[Hey, co-star!]_ text message and realising that yes, choosing drama was definitely the best decision he’s ever made.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

_[Did you read it yet?]_

 

[not yet]

 

_[I thought Eren gave you the script last week?]_

 

[yea he did]

 

_[Jean!  I'm surprised at you.]_

 

[don't scold me for being a slow reader]

 

_[I don't believe that you're a slow reader.  I'm scolding you for being lazy.]_

 

[oi]

 

_[ **lazy.** ]_

 

[i'm just taking my time with it]

 

_[Don't take too long, **honey**!]_

 

[stop flirting with me!]

 

_[Nope!]_

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

When Jean reads over the script Eren gives him, he’s convinced that the other boy must be pulling his leg. Having a laugh. Kidding him on. Because the character he’s playing, and his relationship with Armin’s character… it’s a joke right? He can’t seriously be playing… Armin’s  _love interest?_

“I didn’t write it - it was the only decent option out the prescribed text list.” Eren shrugs when Jean somewhat awkwardly confronts him about the play. “Though there isn’t actually anything solid to go on, and the playwright didn’t comment on Florian and Anton’s relationship either. Really, it all comes down to how you interpret it for yourself.”

He’s right about that. There may be nothing explicitly stated in the dialogue or stage directions, but Jean’s pretty good at reading between the lines. If he were studying the text for another class, he’d have no doubt in claiming there is more than friendship between the two leads.

“Right, well… okay then.” Jean clears his throat, folding and unfolding the script repeatedly in his hands. “You’re directing the thing. How are you interpreting it?”

“I’ll have you and Armin read your scenes through together, and we’ll see how it goes.” Eren says, flicking through his own already worn script. He pauses with a smirk. “Though, uh… I don’t think we’ll have a problem chemistry-wise.”

“What do you -” Jean catches himself as he realises, and blushes indignantly.  _This keeps happening._ “Shut up.”

“Just calling it as I see it, Jean.” Eren laughs over his shoulder as he walks away, stuffing his materials back into his bag. “See you at rehearsal!”

Jean groans inwardly, not at all surprised that he’s already regretting agreeing to be in Eren’s play. If he were more confident in his acting abilities perhaps he’d see playing across Armin romantically as a dream come true. But he’s fairly certain he’s going to suck at this and embarrass himself even more so than usual.

He spends the whole day worrying about it, annoying his deskmates with the chewing of his eraser and constant tuneless tapping of his feet. Between classes he studies his scenes, wrinkling and creasing the pages already with his anxious thumbing. Upon further reading he realises that his character is one of several leads - it’s more of a ‘Love, Actually’ type of story, so each pairing and group receive equal stage time. He figures that’ll mean Eren’s focus will be split between all the cast, and Jean and Armin’ll be expected to work on their own at times.

_Awesome._  Jean thinks, unsure if the voice in his head is sincere or sarcastic. It’s a mix of both excitement and dread he feels, wishing the end of day bell would ring so he can hurry to rehearsal or avoid it entirely.

But in the end he goes, because of course there’s no way he can’t. He promised Eren after all, and he knows he ought to be taking any opportunity he can to spend time with Armin and the rest of his classmates. And to his surprise, they all seem happy to see him when he tries and fails not to be noticed as he slips into the hall. He’s beckoned and fussed over when they push him into a seat in the centre of the group. And though his recent fame in the drama department isn’t something he’s used to yet, Jean’d be lying if he claimed not to secretly enjoy it.

Though his attention is immediately drawn away from himself when arguably the most important crew members arrive. Eren and Armin seem to be in deep conversation when they enter the hall, heads bowed together over the script and murmuring in low tones. However the focused illusion is shattered when Armin lets out a shriek of laughter and smacks Eren over the head with his own rolled up papers.

“Enough already!” He shakes his head, slightly red in the face but smiling as Eren offers him a sweet.

“Yeah yeah. Hey, we all here?” Eren addresses the group as they approach. “No one chicken out yet?”

All eyes turn to Jean and he snorts defensively.

“Oh, hey lover.” Armin says, grinning around a mouthful of lollipop. He then casually presses a hand over Eren’s opening mouth with no explanation, and apparently no one feels the need to ask for one.

“Um, hey.” Jean manages, staring concernedly at the two of them. “So, we’re definitely going for the, uh, romantic angle?”

“Have you  _read_  it? Of course we are.” Armin drags a chair over, stubbornly wedges it between Jean’s and the girl’s on his left and sits. ”And it’s not an angle. It’s obviously mutual love, whatever way you look at it.”

Jean makes a series of strained “mm”ing noises and resigns himself to his fate when Eren announces that he wants to do a full cast read through to start off with. Then if time permits, split into individual groups to read through and get a feel for their particular scenes.

Jean mumbles through his lines (blushing when the others go  _‘oooh’_  at the more embarrassing exchanges he has with Armin), but so does everyone else so he’d not too nervous about it. Armin tells him that all early rehearsals are like this - a lot of messing around, settling down and working seriously around the second week, then finally there’s full-blown panic as the director and four, maybe five others break down in stressed out tears.

"Wow. Well that sounds super fun.” Jean says, flipping back to the front page of his script when they finally complete the first read through. “I’m sure glad I decided to do this.”

“Oh, it is fun. I’m glad you’re here too.” Armin nods seriously over Eren’s call for the cast to separate for individual scenes. He then promptly swings his legs up and across Jean’s lap (who tries to ignore the pleasantly warm weight of them). “Okedoke. Let’s run through from the start then, shall we?”

Over the weeks rehearsals steadily lose their easygoing atmosphere, and the cast and crew grow wholly focused on their work. But that doesn’t make the process any less fun. Solo studying and practising lines over the phone with Armin (“But how do I know you don’t have your script in front of you?” / “Jean! Don’t you trust me?” / “Eh, well - ” / “Your hesitation  _hurts_  me, Jean -“) means Jean knows his lines inside out and often he’s the one to prompt the others when they forget theirs. By now, cast have taken to addressing each other by their character names both in and out of rehearsal out of habit and reciting their lines ironically to amuse or annoy the other students. Jean can’t count the number of times Eren has barked “Anton” at him instead of “Jean” by now.

Blocking the scenes is more of a challenge. He discovers this when Eren watches their scenes without the others around, and demands that their presence be mandatory at every rehearsal now - claiming their characters are the soul of the play. Blocking their scenes involves a lot of mumbling and head shaking and “Okay, when you say that line could you step towards him? That’s fine, but you gotta do something with your hands too. You can’t just - Jean it’s  _three weeks_  til the exam, do not fucking jazz hands at me. Armin, stop laughing - it only encourages him -“

But Jean doesn’t complain too much when Eren pushes him around the stage and moves his limbs as though he’s a mannequin, contradictory to his stating “Just do what feels natural.” Instead he just silently raises his eyebrows over Eren’s head at Armin who giggles cutely into his hands.

He’s growing used to being around Armin without stumbling over his words and without his face burning hot at every little remotely adorable thing Armin does. Which is pretty much every little thing Armin does. It’s still not  _easy_ , but he’s certainly getting the practice he needs. And sometimes, he could swear the tables turn and  _Armin’s_  the one becoming flustered during their scenes together. During their latest rehearsal, per Eren’s instruction Jean placed his hand at the small of Armin’s back and let it linger there - causing the shorter boy to tense and stutter through his remaining lines. It had been endearing to watch, and it didn’t take much for Jean to convince Eren to allow the action to stay in the directions as long as Armin could “stop squeaking his lines and act like a professional”.

Jean may be having the time of his life, but it’s now reaching the “panic” stage Armin told him about. It’s a week before the actual performance, and cast who knew their lines perfectly last week are constantly having to ask for prompts. The lighting crew can’t seem to co-ordinate with the actors’ movements, and the younger stage crew clearly have no idea or care for what they’re supposed to be doing. And poor Eren’s almost at his wit’s end.

“Sasha’s scenes are just falling apart, I need to go kick their butts into gear.” Eren grits his teeth, thumbing furiously through his director’s copy of the play to check his notes. He sighs at what he sees and looks helplessly at Jean and Armin. “You guys don’t need me, right? You know what you’re doing by now, so you can rehearse on your own.”

“Actually, I have a suggestion for one of the scenes -”

“Then try it out, whatever it is, and come back to me on it. I trust your judgement.” Eren tells Armin, clasping his hands desperately and bringing them to his forehead, closing his eyes in anguish. “God, you two are the only thing getting me through this horror show right now. I’ll see you later.”

They watch in sympathy as Eren storms to the opposite side of the hall, trying to reign in his temper as his classmates quickly consult their scripts in a panic. Jean’s relieved that he’s completely confident in his own scenes and not on the receiving end of Eren’s wrath right now.

“Poor souls.” Armin murmurs, echoing Jean’s thoughts. “You know what? I don’t want to witness it. Let’s go somewhere quieter.”

Jean agrees and follows Armin into an empty classroom. It’s not ideal for acting space, so they work together to shift the chairs and desks around to create their stage. When Jean turns, he finds Armin fidgeting and looking at his feet. When he asks what’s wrong, Armin tells him he’s concerned about how their characters’ relationship is portrayed.

“I mean, there’s no verbal confirmation that they’re together. Our movements are too safe. For all we know the audience will interpret it as a brotherly relationship - or that they  _are_  brothers since their surnames aren’t mentioned either.”

"Um, okay.” Jean blinks. “But didn’t you say from the beginning how obviously in love they are?”

“Well, yes but - obvious in a subtle way.” Armin sighs and rolls his eyes, immediately realising how contradictory his words sound. “You know what I mean. Just… just follow my lead, okay?”

Jean would be lying if he says he isn’t confused, but he doesn’t mind indulging Armin in an experiment if he feels so seriously about it. Especially when that experiment involves Armin being a lot more touchy feely during their scenes. A hell of a lot more.

There are intentional hand brushes - like Armin’s reaching out to take his hand but changing his mind at the last moment. An embrace that lingers in Act 2 Scene 3, when Armin doesn’t seem to want to remove his arms from around Jean’s neck. Fond looks and soft smiles even when Jean’s character isn’t even addressing Armin’s. Armin always seems to be look at Jean like that.

_**Florian**  is always looking at  **Anton**  like that. _Jean sternly reminds himself.  _It’s not you he’s looking at, Jean. He’s acting._

_“That isn’t what I meant, and you know it.”_  Armin sighs, sinking down on his knees to the floor to where Jean sat with his head in his hands. He tentatively places a hand between Jean’s shoulder blades, and Jean tries his hardest not to reflexively twitch under the soft touch. Because that’s new.

_“That doesn’t make it any less true.”_ Jean says, raising his head to look at him.  _“Because you’re right, what can I do? What difference can I make?”_

Armin has the expression down perfectly - weary-eyed with a tired smile that still looks like it’s filled with all the affection in the world. Florian’s the heart of the play, the sensible and quietly passionate protagonist, the dearest of all the cast - and Armin has his characterisation down to a T.

_He’s really good at this._  Jean realises for the hundredth time.It’s almost impossible not to be distracted by it - the glow surrounding him as he holds the spotlight.  _Like an angel._

_Now I’m just being melodramatic._ Jean tells himself.

Armin  _(Florian)_  presses his other hand to Jean’s  _(Anton’s)_  chest, and Jean almost lets out a strangled sound because Armin’s hand is  _right over his heart and oh god can he feel how fast it’s suddenly beating?_

_“You can make all the difference in the world.”_ Armin murmurs.  _“To me, at least.”_

_It’s all pretend, remember none of this is real._ Jean tries not to think about the fact that Armin’s close enough that he could probably count the long eyelashes brushing Armin’s cheek. He’s already at ten lashes, eleven, twelve - he has to do something now, it can’t just be Armin - seventeen, eighteen -

Jean lifts a surprisingly steady hand to brush back Armin’s hair, his fingertips lingering by the curve of Armin’s ear.  _His skin is so soft. ”I wish that was enough.”_

"Jean, I - ”

_He means Anton,_  Jean thinks automatically before his heart stops entirely because Armin’s kissing him.

Well, he is then he isn’t. There’s only a light press of soft lips to his, lingering for three, four seconds then it’s over before Jean can react. Armin pulls away slowly, a hesitant look on his face and Jean can only stare. Because…  _huh? Isn’t this a bit over the top?_  He only thinks so because he knows he won’t be able to keep calm calm if Armin continues to spring surprise kisses like this but on stage in front of everyone. Not that he wouldn’t be absolutely thrilled because  _Armin kissed him._ Even if he is only pretending.

Then, stupidly, Jean remembers that it’s still his line.

_“So I’m going.”_

“What?”

_“So I’m going.”_ Jean repeats croakily. His lips are still tingling from where Armin’s touched them.

“I don’t understand.. ?” Armin lets go of him, shifting backwards slightly. “You didn’t want… You didn’t -”

_Why is he breaking character? Did he forget his line? I guess so, he seems kind of confused. I guess the kiss surprised him too. It must’ve been a spur of the moment idea._

_“I wish you wouldn’t.”_ Jean whispers to him.

“What?” For some reason Armin’s whispering too, his eyes widening in shock. And Jean could swear he looks a little…  _hurt?_

_No, no he must just still be confused._

“That’s your line.  _I wish you wouldn’t.”_

"Myline… Oh god, you thought I was still… ” Armin breathes, trailing off with a quiet self-conscious laugh. ”Ahh, okay, um… Let’s just - just start over. Start from Anton’s rant about the community, okay?”

Jean’s sceptical, but does as he’s asked.

The rest of their one-on-one rehearsal continues, but it doesn’t take long for Jean to realise that it’s not going well.

Armin does an abrupt 180 on his movements, seemingly trying to touch Jean as little as possible and barely looks at him. He delivers his lines with little enthusiasm, giving Jean almost no reaction to play off of - so his performance worsens as well.

_What’s happening? Is it the kiss? Does he think it was too much and now he feels awkward?_

Jean wishes he could say something about it but he can’t. He doesn’t know what to say without accidentally blurting out that he’s actually really happy Armin kissed him and only wishes it were real for both of them.

_I like him. I like him so much I can’t stop being a complete idiot about it._

Their awkward rehearsal ends and Armin leaves quickly without so much as a “goodnight”, but not before Jean catches a glimpse of the upset in his eyes. Then Jean worries that he’s done something stupid after all because he’s beginning to feel like today has gone terribly wrong.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Jean has never been so grateful for Eren’s pushy acting directions than he is in the week before the performance. Because having to pretend that Armin’s decision to ignore him doesn’t bother him is far harder than he would’ve thought.

At break and lunch Armin mumbles excuses about studying and slips away to the library before Jean can so much as say “hey”. He always seem to manage avoiding Jean’s eye in the corridor – and the one time he does by accident he quickly looks away, leaving Jean with an awkwardly hovering hand in the air and an ache in his chest.

_Ouch._ He comes to a stop in the bustling hall and dejectedly watches Armin duck into a classroom that he’s pretty sure Armin doesn’t actually belong to.

_what did I do what did I do what did I do_

Jean’s sure that their kiss wasn’t  _that_  bad. He may have been the only one who felt like his heart was going to explode behind his ribcage, who felt like he was falling –  _whoa_ , no no, not falling anywhere. Not yet. But he remembers his stomach certainly swooping as if maybe he  _was_  falling.

If it  _is_ the kiss that’s bothering Armin ( _Wait,_ Jean thinks back frantically.  _Did I even kiss him back? Was I supposed to? He told me to follow his lead but - !! I wasn’t prepared for_ _ **that**_ _!),_ then Jean is just going to have to straighten it out. Somehow. Besides, Armin can’t avoid him forever.

But he definitely gives it a damn good go. Jean realises in dismay just how stubborn Armin can be when he summons all the courage he has and approaches him during rehearsal.

“I don’t think we need to work on our scenes anymore. It’s a waste of time to keep going over them.” Armin pretends to read his script to evade Jean’s gaze, but his eyes don’t seem to move from the one spot. “We have scenes with other characters too – maybe we should practice those.”

“Um, well if that’s what you want.” Jean clears his throat, fighting the wish to tell him that it’s not what  _he_ wants. Not at all. “But I really think we should talk -”

“It is what I want”. Armin says. Then he stalks away without another word and… well, that’s it for that day.

He’s not wrong about their scenes though. Despite their confusing attempt at upping the romance the other day, they’ve pretty much got Florian and Anton’s parts nailed. But there are plenty of other character interactions that they can improve on – partly their own faults for becoming so engrossed in the relationship between their own. And even Eren has been insisting that they show some interest in the other scenes they appear in.

“You two have got your solo and couple scenes near about perfect by now anyway.” Eren tells him.

They’re taking a break from rehearsal since Jean’s fight scenes are exhausting both of them. It’s not so much the physical movement that tires them; it’s more the “make sure neither of your faces are obscured from the audience” and “remember to watch your mic wires!”, and the ever daunting “if you actually accidentally punch me in the face I’m going to deliberately knee your balls” that stresses both the actors and director out.

Plus, Jean’s pretty sure that Armin deliberately doesn’t watch him practice anymore. Usually he’s right there next to Eren, occasionally stepping in to help reposition Jean which involves a lot of “maybe move like this”, and “it’s nice seeing you get so into it” and the gentle but firm grip of Armin’s hands on his body. But now Armin’s nowhere near their practice sessions and Jean’s motivation is dropping. He doesn’t enjoy it as much without Armin there to encourage him and the thought disappoints Jean more than anything else.

“Mm, I suppose.” Jean answers, taking a much deserved gulp of water and rubbing the escaping dribble from his chin.

“Okay, usually you’re bragging about how  _amazing_ your scenes together are going. Can I put your _‘Mm’_ supposing down to pre-show jitters or what?”

Jean manages a weak a laugh and tells him yeah, maybe it’s just that. He guesses he is nervous since he hasn’t performed in front of a crowd bigger than twenty or so people, and has never been a part of such a big project before at all. But he knows that despite all that, it’s not really what’s bothering him.

“It’d better be.” Eren warns him, but good-naturedly nudging his shoulder with his own. “Hey, you… you don’t know what’s up with Armin lately, do you?”

_Um._

“What do you mean?”

“Well, just that - “ Eren sighs, lowering his voice as he glances over to where Armin leads a group stretching exercise in a pair of leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. The sweatshirt bunches up around his hips as he bends and Jean really does try his best not to watch.

“It’s just that he’s pretending not to be upset about something. And that’s not unusual – he prefers  _not_ to be a drama queen about the important stuff. But it’s just weird that he hasn’t talked to me about it, you know?” Eren slumps back against the wall they’ve been leaning on. He chews his lip worriedly, obviously so concerned about his best friend and it makes Jean feel about ten times worse already because now he’s  _sure_ it’s his fault.

“He might huff for a day at the most but he  _always_ comes to talk to me about it. It’s been like this for a nearly a week now. And any time I try and ask him about it he just brushes me off. I’m just wondering if maybe you know something.”

“What makes you think I would know something?”

Eren stares at him like he’s stupid. Jean’s starting to worry that maybe he is.

“Because you’re his friend.”

_Friend._ Jean doesn’t know if he likes or hates the word. This time last year he’d have been desperately trying to hide a grin as the glee exploded in his chest because  _he’s Armin’s friend._ Now whenever he hears it it feels like he’s trying to reach for something but keeps missing it and clenching his hand around nothing.

“You’re his  _best_ friend.” Jean points out. “If anyone would know - “

“Yeah, yeah but - “ Eren gives an odd shrugging motion as he gestures towards Jean. “You two – it’s different.”

“How is it different?”

“How is it – ugh, oh my god.  _'Irresistible’_ my ass.” Eren mutters. “I think I get it now. I swear, how he can be into someone so  _dense_ -”

“Oi, what’re you talking -”

“My dear sweet Jean.” Eren throws an arm around his shoulder, heaving the largest sigh Jean thinks he’s ever heard. “If this doesn’t go the way I’ve been planning, I’m going to have to arrange some _severe_ ass-kicking for you once this play is over.”

Jean keeps looking at him, utterly baffled as to what he means. “Planning what? You mean the play?”

“Jeez, I  _definitely_ get it now.”

Eren lightly pats his cheek and jumps to his feet with a stretch, suddenly announcing that he feels like joining the “yoga bunch” and makes his way towards Armin’s group. He hugs his friend from behind and immediately lets go when Armin starts to squirm.

Jean winces at the ferocity of Armin’s glare towards his friend, then blinks in surprise as Armin’s scowl softens into something sadder and takes Eren’s outstretched hand. Together they leave the hall, and alone Jean stares at the swinging door behind them and wishes he were brave enough to take Armin’s hand like that.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

There’s a superstition in theatre that a terrible dress rehearsal means that the opening night will go well. Jean thinks all these myths are rubbish and spends a lot of time whistling and eerily whispering _“Something wicked this way comes”_  which results in either Eren or Armin screaming at him to leave the hall and go spin and spit and curse outside. Ridiculous, really.

For once though, Jean’s kind of hoping that bad dress rehearsal one is true.

They currently have no music or sound effects because some third year stage crew kid spilled his lemonade on the sound board. One of their lead actors has caught a dreadful cold and coughs and sneezes his way through his lines. Somehow everyone’s forgetting their lines and blocking. Half the props are missing, and costumes apparently don’t fit the cast anymore since last night. The second years  _still_ aren’t finished painting the court scene set and the head of PE booked the hall from 11AM to the end of the school day for assemblies to lecture each individual year about the importance of cycling and road safety so they only have the morning and after school to rehearse. And Armin still isn’t speaking to Jean.

It makes him feel helpless when he watches Eren nearly tear his hair out and wonders when people will start crying. He knows Eren’ll be the first if that happens.

“Okay.” Eren rubs his hands over his face defeatedly, his voice quiet and raw from yelling all morning. “We only have another two and a half hours til we have to pack it in til three o’clock. So can we please…  _please_ have one uninterrupted run through until then?”

There are no objections, because no one wants to see Eren any more upset than he already is or risk being the one to ignite his temper again. So the cast and crew assemble for the opening scene, and pray that nothing else goes wrong today.

Jean finds himself next to Armin backstage, a little squished between the other crowding cast members, and leans down to speak quietly in his ear.

“Hey, so like… can we talk later? About… you know -”

“Shh. I don’t want to set Eren off.” Armin murmurs.

“Not  _now_ obviously, that’s why I said later.” Jean shifts impatiently to let the characters of the first scene move past him an onto the stage. “But it has to be before opening night, cause if you’re like this when we’re on stage -”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Armin hisses and is promptly shushed by a passing crew member as the opening scene begins.

Jean grits his teeth and decides to shut up for the time being. He remains besides Armin, standing stiffly beside him, until it’s their cue to go on stage.

It’s about as awful as he expects. Armin hardly spares him a glance, apparently forgetting all the little affectionate gestures and looks they’d practised beforehand. Jean messes up his line for the first time in weeks, and it throws him so much that he trips over the table leg and causes a loud grating sound to echo throughout the hall.

The pauses between their exchanges are too long, or too quick. Their movements around each other are clumsy, and once when it’s a particularly busy set on stage Jean bumps into Armin who flinches away like he’s been scalded. The harsh lights and heat make Jean feel nauseated and if he squints he can see Eren at the front row looking as if he’s about to burst into tears. It’s a mess, and everyone knows it.

When the lights go down to signify the end of the scene, Armin stalks backstage and Jean follows quickly – dodging the stage crew as they scuttle about in the darkness to prepare the next set.

Safely behind the curtain, Jean slips a hand under Armin’s elbow to steer him away from the others.

“What are y- ?”

“I want to talk. Now.”

Jean leads them deeper backstage where it’s dark enough to trip over the wires and no one else bothers to be. He lets Armin go when the voices on stage reduce to a murmur, and a dim crack of light escapes the curtains to light their faces.

“This is my fault isn’t it?”

Armin looks at him, his mouth opening silently in surprise.

“Sorry, I just – I didn’t think it was – god, uh -” Jean sighs, scrubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm. When he pulls them away he sees stars in the dark around Armin’s face. “You thought it was gross, right?”

“…Thought what was gross?”

“Kissing me.” Jean bites his lip.

He wonders if the confusion on Armin’s face is the cause of his eyes still playing tricks on him. Whatever way, he’s not expecting a good outcome of the conversation but the past week has been killing him and he needs to get this out.

“I… didn’t think it was gross.” Armin says slowly, now looking as anxious as Jean felt. “Did… Didn’t you think that?”

“No, of course not.” Jean whispers as the actors on stage start to raise their voices. “But… it did kind of upset me, I guess.”

That might’ve been the worst thing to say. Armin’s face crumples as he meekly asks “Why?” and Jean almost wants to just forget the talking and confess to him right there to make his point known already.

“Because it doesn’t mean the same thing for me as it does for you. You were just playing around with the characters, but for me it gets my hopes up and I don’t want that.”

“Your hopes -”

“I like you, Armin.” Jean says, and now there are no voices floating backstage at all.

Armin stares at him, the darkening flush on his cheeks barely visible in the darkness. Then his head falls forward as he groans, weakly pushing a hand against Jean’s chest in embarrassment.

“I  _know._ I like you too.”

 

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

_Oh my god._

 

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

_What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

_But!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

“Then why didn’t you say anything?!” Jean exclaims with a hand clapped to his mouth, sinking to a crouch and blushing hard.

Armin falls to his knees too, whispering frantically that he thought it was obvious. “I mean I  _kissed_ you, didn’t I?”

“I thought you were acting.” Jean mumbles in mortification and Armin whines again.

“Jeez, Eren’s right. You can be  _so_ dense sometimes.”

_Only about you._

They stay like that for a few moments, crouching backstage, both red in the face and scarcely able to look at each other. The thoughts in Jean’s head run as fast as his heart throbs and he’s pretty sure if he moves even an inch the quietly happy atmosphere between them will shatter.

But his legs are cramping in this position so something’s got to give. He unsteadily gets to his feet and offers a hand down to Armin who takes it.

“So, um.” Jean swallows, giving Armin’s hand a light squeeze and trying not to think about how small and warm it is in his. “Do you wanna rehearse for the next scene?”

Armin’s bright eyes widen as he squeezes back. “You mean… I don’t – um, I really don’t know what to – how to -”

“Me neither.” Jean admits quietly, ducking his head a little in embarrassment. “But… can I kiss you anyway?”

Armin bites his lip but nods, and Jean has an odd fleeting thought to thank Eren later before he meets Armin’s lips with his own.

It’s rushed and clumsy and Armin giggles when Jean’s nose collides with his, but a softer second try quietens him and causes his arms to slip around Jean’s neck. He thinks he might hear voices shouting beyond the curtain, but he’s sure there’s nothing he cares about more than this right now.

Despite the airy light-headed feeling, Jean’s stance is steady as he cradles Armin’s waist to prevent them from tumbling over the trailing wires. He doesn’t think he’s ever found anything softer or more soothing than the feeling of Armin’s mouth moving against his.

“Is there a superstition about kissing backstage?” Jean asks as he breaks away to press a kiss to the smooth skin of Armin’s cheek.

“Mm-nn,” Armin shakes his head a little. “I’d have told you if there were – to put the idea in your head.”

Smiling mischievously, Jean presses his lips together in an ‘o’ shape and blows softly against Armin’s ear. He receives a light smack for his treachery and a “Don’t whistle in the theatre!” before fastening his mouth to Armin’s once more.

“ _ **OI.”**_

They start, only pulling far away enough from each other to see Eren standing a few feet away looking absolutely livid.

“Look, I’ll be the first one to say I’m glad you both stopped being idiots and started sucking face.” Eren grits out. “But it’s dress rehearsal –  _the last rehearsal we get –_ and if Jean dares to miss his cue like he just did then  _so help me god he will no longer have a face to su-“_

“Okay, we get it.” Jean flushes, embarrassed but actually nervous more than anything else. No one follows through with a threat more seriously than Eren.

Their flustered director stomps off, muttering angrily about banning kissing in the theatre, leaving Jean and Armin still very much wrapped around each other.

“Uh.”

“Yep.”

Jean reluctantly loosens his hold, but grins when Armin smiles shyly up at him.

“We can… um, talk and stuff later.” Armin says, then pushes him towards the stage. “We don’t want Eren to explode.”

“Would that be so bad?”

“ _Yes.”_

Hours later, after many more mishaps which thankfully Jean and Armin were not involved in, the rehearsal finally ends on an awkward note when Eren snaps at Jean to close his mouth before he can utter the final line.

“We’ve had enough bad luck today.” He says, glaring at particular crew members and Jean fights the urge to whistle innocently.

But he’s starting to believe in superstitions – well at least he considers it when the opening night is a success. Apart from one or two misplaced sound effects, the performance goes smoothly, and Jean has to admit that receiving a standing ovation feels pretty good.

He’s even giddier when Armin grasps his hand as they bow, and still doesn’t let go when the curtain falls and the cast explode into chatter and cheers.

“After party at mine once we clear up!” Eren calls to them all once the audience has dispersed. “Everyone’s invited except Jean!”

Jean rolls his eyes, and smiles when he feels a tug on his sleeve.

“Don’t worry.” Armin tells him soothingly. “You can be my plus one. We can talk and stuff there.”

 

  

 

*

 

 

 

Jean isn't sure how he's ended up crammed into a tiny armchair in the corner of Eren's living room, his classmates calling out and laughing all around him.  It's loud and hot and a little hard to see since Eren insists on lighting the room by candles.  He claims it's _'for the ambience'_ , though Jean has a niggling feeling that this means ghost stories and other daft party games later.

He doesn't mind though.  Armin's been perched on the arm of his tiny armchair since their arrival and, because the tiny armchair is in fact a  _tiny_ armchair, it's a happy necessity for Jean to slip his arm around Armin's slim waist to keep him in place.  Primarily for safety reasons, of course.

"Is this okay?"  Jean asks.  Because in actuality he's barely touching Armin and he's ready to withdraw his arm instantly should Armin want him to.  But Armin only flashes him a look of amusement and presses against his arm.

"Well yes, but you're going to have to hold me tighter than that.  You don't want me falling off, do you?"

Jean shakes his head and tightens his grip, pressing his palm securely against Armin's side.  No, he doesn't want Armin falling off the chair - not unless he happens to fall in Jean's direction, then maybe he wouldn't mind so much.

It takes less than a moment for the image of Armin in his lap to conjure in his mind and make him blush from head to toe.  Deciding that well, okay maybe that's not a good idea either, he squeezes Armin's waist and says no more about it.

The other boy is having none of that though, breathing a laugh as he swings his legs around to rest across Jean's knees.

"Do you enjoy using me as a footstool?"

"Yep."  Armin says, sliding down to sit on Jean's thigh and throw an arm around the back of the chair.  "I used you as a footstool for nearly two years, flirted with you every day in class and every night over the phone - I even  _kissed_ you and you still didn't get it."

He pauses, shifting a little and smiling as he takes in Jean's deepening blush.  "Maybe I should've done this to begin with if I knew it was going to get you all hot and bothered."

"Well, I'm sorry.  But I'm pretty sure I've been in a constant state of 'hot and bothered' for the past two years."

"You never showed it!"  Armin sighs.  Then he starts and looks towards the others as they suddenly start cheering.  They're applauding Eren who seems to have stuffed an unholy amount of oreos in his mouth.  His cheeks bulge as he bows and tries to grin, his teeth black with the biscuit.

"Gross."  Jean comments at the same time Armin says "Nice."

"I don't see how you couldn't tell I like you.  I willingly took another year of drama madness for you."

"You were annoyingly verbally unresponsive to my obvious advances.  But here I thought you'd just been bitten by the theatre bug."  Armin smiles, leaning his head against Jean's shoulder.  His cheeks are flushed and Jean struggles hard not to reach up and pinch them because  _wow okay, they look soft_.  But he's already lifted his hand and  _damn_ Armin's noticed the movement so he has to do something with it now.

Instead he places his hand at the base of Armin head and rubs his fingertips there like he would a cat.  Now with one arm around Armin's waist and another around his shoulder, Jean's put himself in a rather awkward position and bites back a grunt at the strain on his lower back.  But Armin lets out a soft sound and moves closer, resting his palm on Jean's stomach and closing his eyes - so Jean doesn't mind the discomfort at all.

He'd have thought he would've been shocked at the sudden intimacy between them - and nervous definitely.  But there's nothing - no itching to get away, or stunned rigidity in his limbs.  His fingers aren't even twitching like they might've a year ago.  There's only a pleasant weight and warmth against him and a feeling of ... _finally._ And yeah, okay maybe his heart is beating a little quicker than normal but it's steady thanks to the look of content on Armin's face.

Feeling brave, Jean presses his mouth to the top of Armin's head and pulls away again.  He grins at his own daring, still stroking Armin's hair.  And as though in retaliation, Armin tilts his head to kiss under Jean's chin.  Then he promptly covers his face with his hands and laughs a little.

"Ahaha, oh no.  I, uh - haha, sorry I'm actually freaking out so much right now!!"

Armin's voice is muffled through his fingers, his giggles leaking out into his hands and Jean thinks he might die right here in Eren's stuffy living room.

_This - no, how is this fair he's so adorable I **can't -**_

Red-faced, Jean abandons Armin's hair and throws an arm across his mouth.  His head falls back and he stares at the ceiling, willing himself to calm down because Armin's flustered reaction might just be killing him.  In the way his heart is gonna burst out of his chest for everyone to see.  

_Look at this idiot,_  his bleeding heart will say.   _He falls in love with some doe-eyed drama geek and lets it be the death of him._

"Don't do this to me."  Jean mutters, not sure if he's talking to the boy in his lap or the thumping organ in his chest.

A wave of noise from the centre of the room jolts them both from their respective flustered states.  A mixture of groans and and "yes!"s reach them and they look to their classmates sitting cross-legged in a circle.  Eren peels away from the group, grumbling as he trips over someone's knee, and approaches Jean and Armin.

"You two done having kittens yet?"

"You're not using that expression correctly."  Armin winces, as Jean splutters.

"Really?  'Cause that's what it looked like you guys were doing.  Anyway, that lot wants to play spin the bottle." 

"Okay.  And you don't?"

"Eugh, no."  Eren pulls a disgusted face, wiping his mouth as though he can feel another on him already.  Maybe the oreo overload has made him nauseous, or he doesn't find kissing as enjoyable as Jean has recently learned he does.  "I'm gonna narrate the shenanigans though.  You two in?"

Jean instinctively curls his arm tighter around Armin at the same time Armin says "No, we're not."

"Ha - what, you don't feel like kissing any more of your beloved classmates tonight?"  Eren smirks and Jean forces himself to remember that Eren is his friend and it wouldn't be very friend-like of Jean to hit him.  Especially when Eren happens to be right.

Armin lifts his chin, narrowing his eyes at his best friend in a way that seems to scream  _go away._ "I wouldn't necessarily say that."

Eren keeps smiling, raising his hands and backing away as though to reply  _message received, bro._ "Okay, well.  You know where we are if you change your mind.  Not that I think you will."

"Drama kids."  Jean mutters darkly as Eren allows himself to be dragged back to the kissing circle.

"Are we really so dreadful?"  Armin asks, though he's only just quit scowling at their friend.

"You should know, you're the worst."

Armin widens his eyes in mock hurt and Jean grins wide at him.

"Whatever do you mean by that?"

"This."  Jean's head dips down to press his lips against Armin's and kiss him once, twice, again...

When he pulls away some time later, both of them breathing slowly and smiling dazedly at each other, Armin prompts him to answer his previous question.

"Oh, right.  Well, what I meant was..."  Jean lowers his voice to a whisper.   _"Method acting."_

He can't contain his laughter when Armin blushes furiously and shoves him away in embarrassment.

 

  

 

*

 

 

 

It’s been months since the success of Eren’s play, and the school year is drawing to a close. Their final drama class approaches Jean knows that this also means the curtain call on his whirlwind career in theatre. It’s not that he hasn’t enjoyed it – but he has other subjects he’d rather pursue, and he only came here for one reason really.

Since practical and written exams have passed, there’s naught else to prepare for so they’re allowed to spend their remaining time playing the old favourites.

“I’m feeling nostalgic.” Eren announces to the class. “Who’s up for Honey, I Love You?”

There’s a mixed response of laughter and pained groans, but nobody really objects. After all, it’s the last time they’ll all be together to play it. So they decide to all take turns, and more often than not end up in hysterics.

And soon enough, Jean finds himself in the centre of the circle for the first time. It’s Eren’s fault this time, because really – how can he not splutter and laugh when Eren oh so innocently licks the underside of his nose because wow, gross.

He lazily wanders around the circle, pretending to consider who will be his prey. He gives up the facade with a grin when he hears an impatient cough behind him.

Jean turns and approaches Armin slowly. His boyfriend only raises an eyebrow expectantly and uncrosses his arms, allowing Jean to take his hands.

“Honey… I love you.” Jean says, pressing his forehead gently to his. He’s already trying so hard not to kiss him when Armin blushes prettily and smiles like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Smiling means he’s lost the game already, but it’s the last thing on either of their minds.

“I love you too.” Armin replies quietly, and shifts forward on his toes to place a soft lingering kiss on Jean’s lips.

There’s the usual chorus of “Ugh, guys come on haha” mixed with “Awww”s, and of course Eren’s usual jab of “Remember when you did that  _right in the middle of my dress rehearsal”._ But Jean’s too focused on the feel of Armin’s warm hands in his and breath on his cheek.

“You lose.” He mutters, still grinning dazedly.

“Mm, yeah.” Armin gives him another kiss and releases his hands to step into the circle. “But it was worth it.”

_Yes._ Jean thinks as he watches Armin skip around the circle with the biggest smile on his face.  _It was definitely worth it._

 

 

 

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> idk why i pictured eren's living room as the gryffindor common room but i did


End file.
